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Me the Pessimist

I must say I have a lot of negative energy in me. I am a hard core pessimist. I usually decide that things will just not go my way and give up at the very beginning. This in particular has been detrimental to my writing career. I have loads of ideas but have been skeptical as regards to getting them on paper and even if I have managed to bring my ideas to life, I start doubting if any magazine would be interested. I have been trying hard to come out of my negative skin and have succeeded a few times and those were the times my articles got printed. Not many, I must say.

I guess I lack the confidence and the passion. I need to completely get over my negativity because that’s the only thing that’s stopping me from becoming an accomplished writer. I’ve read so many books on overcoming this negative element but then these self help books have not been of much help. I tend to sleep midway into the book. I have friends and family supporting me but my cynical attitude has been my greatest disadvantage. So let me see, I try to get at least 5 articles in print this year. I give myself a goal and I just might overcome my disability.

But, what if I don’t? Oh! Boy, here I go again.

Desire for a Home

As kids my brother and I loved to play house. We used our precious Lego collection to create the outline of our dream house complete with bedrooms, kitchen, bathrooms, living rooms, and even a secret hideout. Those were childish ambitions for a house equipped with the latest technologies, which were never heard of then. As I entered my preteens, my desire grew with me, so did the number of bedrooms, a huge swimming pool, a spacious lawn, a Jacuzzi etc…. The house that I dreamt of was always enormous. Finally, when my parents shifted to a bigger house I was excited. I finally had a bedroom of my own with an attached bathroom and a balcony, huge windows and a built in wardrobe. I was ecstatic. But, I still dreamt of a house with bedrooms that have walk in wardrobes, huge chandeliers, a party hall with the latest music system and even a helipad. Now, those were adolescent dreams. When, I ventured into the world as an adult, I realized that having a roof over your head was something to be cherished. The house no matter how small can always bring comfort. Today, I have no desire for that massive house equipped with the latest technologies and facilities. All I want is a house that I can call my home. No matter how small, a place where my children can come home to for their father’s guidance and their mother’s cooking. A home of my own.

Back after a Loooooooooooooong break

I was on a break. Had loads of things on hand. I've turned into a complete workaholic. My day starts at 4:30 am and ends at 12:00 am, with two hours sleep during the afternoon. I do need my afternoon siesta or I would go completely mad.

A few years back when my first born was just 6 months old I felt I had so much time but nothing worthwhile to do and no one to talk to. I was new to Abu Dhabi though I'd spent my entire life in Dubai, I was lonely. All my friends in Dubai seemed busy and I would wonder what to do with my time. That really got me depressed. Now, I have no time to think. Writing, crochet and knitting (I want to make some stuff for the upcoming woman's day exhibition here)and then there are the kids. Anyway I've started working on a few ideas. I would love to blog for money but frankly I have no idea how it works. Got to do my homework on that.

Just visited Chryselle's blog and I was surprised and pleased to find my name among the list of writers she likes. So sweet. I must say Chryselle you are a very kind person. I would love to meet you some day.

I have been writing and submitting like crazy. My in-laws are coming next week and that means no time for any writing. They'll most probably be taking up my entire time for may be 2 months. I was looking forward to spending time by myself during the months of April and May, when my younger one starts school. But, now it looks like I'll have to give up on a lot of things. And also, no more driving training, can't leave my old in-laws alone at home.

The Bollywood filmfare awards are on today and I would so like to watch it but my TV is down. I want to watch Shahrukh Khan doing the silly things that India loves.

I want to write a unique piece for Father's Day, but my mind just seems to drift to gifts and spending time with Daddy dear. What can I write that hasn't already been written? As a child me and my father never really bonded together, though I was in awe with him. To me he was unreachable, untouchable. But, as I turned into a teenager, my father seemed to be proud of my achievements and looks. For him I turned into an asset. We've had a lot of differences lately. But, then I feel as we grow older we realize that our parents were infact human, and they too made a lot of mistakes. But, I still love my dad very much and huring him in anyway is the last thing I would do.

Well, I would need all the luck I need during my in-laws visit. Hope to see them leave happily without any regrets from either their side or my side.

Global Thinking

It is so cold here. I don't feel like getting out of bed. I get up at 5:00 everyday, can you imagine? But, I believe that what you can achieve early in the morning you cannot achieve that later in the day. I start my day with a hot cup of coffee and try to write something. I have jotted down a few good ideas. The problem is getting started with those ideas.

Tomorrow I'll be having the kids and hubby darling at home. That means no access of the computer. On saturday a few friends have planned a refreshing ladies day trip to the Global Village. An evening of shopping and fun.Hubby will be babysitting the younger one.

I think today I'm gonna spend my time reading. Had a freind over for dineer yesterday night so I'm left with dinner left overs to cover todays lunch. Very convenient.

Yawn! Wish I could go back to bed.

On my way

Things seem to be going good. I might be slow but I'm trying to achieve my goals. Last half of the year, I lost weight, got two articles accepted. This year one of them got published and the other will be published in june. I feel more confident with my driving after I changed from manual to automatic. Will soon give a road test. My goal is to get my license in march and get a car for my birthday.

My mind is loaded with ideas for writing and that really makes me feel good.

If anyone is interested they can check out my latest article printed in Jen Magazine.It is about things to do and not to do on valentine's day for singles.

http://www.jenmagazine.com/lds-singles/

Do pass some encouraging comments.